accidentally stuttering while saying your snarky comeback
making fun of your kid for enjoying the things they enjoy is the quickest way to make them feel so completely isolated from you that they are more comfortable talking to strangers on the internet than you about their problems
One time in first grade I asked my teacher if I could drink water and she said to swallow my spit
i’d rather eat a salad than go to school
i’m sorry, i’m too cute… is that bad?